July 9, 2025
i am so fucking tired of it all. my sister keeps running away from home to what im guessing is to meet with her boyfriend who lives in new york and everytime she does just leave without notice my parents use me as contact for my sister because they all think of her as some wild beast. i don't hate my sister but i hate how she leaves and my parents opinions and thoughts about her deteriate about her like shes a lost cause. and every fucking car ride i go my dad HAS to say something about my sister. and everytime he mentions her he doesn't say "my daughter" he says "beast" "untamed" "wild" like shes your fucking daughter dude
makign the website
im trying to get the music to work in the bottom left its not fucking working it would be easier if i had supporter tier but thats 5 dolalrs a month for me to upload mp3 files for this website. holy shit i got it to work if you want a way to comment on speicifc stuff would u rather just dm me or me to add a comment section (DM me ur answer) so it seems it just plays 1 song over and over again mostly uhhh ill fix it. i fixed it.
an entry for the past
towards the end of sophomore year i finally called cps, i thought what my dad was doing had gone way too far as the night before i called them my dad and my sister got in a fight and i dont remember much of it i think my brain just cuts out some stuff because if you got a shit talking dad that you gotta hear every god damn day i think it would be healthier for you just to have a shit memory. but in that fight all i remember is that my sister was on the ground and my dad stomped on her skull. and thats fucking insane dude holy shit and i checked on my sister an hour later and she had like a huge bump on her head and was crying which just hurts me more bro why are you hitting your fucking daughter that clearly cares about looks with the amount of make up she has bought. but forwarding to the next morning i got kai to be in call with me while i call cps just to be there as support since he was one of the few ppl online and while i call them i explain the situation and they ask me how often it is but i gave them like answers full of uncertanty because what if i wanted to back out from this. After i get done with the call i didn't know exactly what they would do but my mom came home from work 2 hours later and then 30 minutes after that CPS comes and says they got a call from this household about child endangerment. I was the only person home. They all knew it was me. My mom brings me to her room and tells me to say im joking and to call them off and im just lost becuse everytime my mom fights with my dad she always threatens to call the police and I have to end up hiding her phone so she doesn't and now she is telling me to call them off? why? but even my sister, who is the main reason i called them. tells me to say im joking and nothing was happening. Okay. the cps brings me outside to ask me questions alone and i just denied every question they asked. i don't know how much better my life would be if i told the truth. but my moms life and my sisters life probably would of been worse. I didn't take in account on how the rest of my family in bangladesh would view us. the family who sold their father to the cops. "oh he beats their children?" "thats just what asian parents do" no. you shouldn't do that i think you should only hit your children as a last resort. not use it to threaten and push back certain behaviors like my dad. In every disagreement he just chooses to pick up the closest thing and get in a throwing position and threaten the person hes arguing. he won't listen or change. he just grows older and just does it less. but after cps left my mom just told me what i did was right but we should just understand that my dad didnt have a good childhood and that we should just deal with him. THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO ACT LIKE THIS??? i do NTO care that your mother died when u were 3. YOU WERE FUCKING 3 what trauma could you possibly have gotten that would make you just act like this. but moving on my sister told me she appraiciate what i did for her but i shouldnt do this again and thats all i remember up to.
